Wk 8 — Art Activity — Student Choice, Part 1

3 AM in the morning and I’m awake again.

It’s been happening for a few days now and childishly enough, it started because my friend left to go on a social break and being the irrational idiot I am, I took that message a lot worse than usual. This was one of my best friends and her absences in my world left a major toll on me, a toll so severe that has kept me up all night until my mind is mentally exhausted enough to let it go. But even in my nightmares, the thought of someone close leaving me continued to haunt my sensitive self.

For this week, I was really on the top of my game with my classes until I hit that slump during Thursday afternoon and in blink of a restless eye, I found myself waking up on Sunday morning having done nothing in the past 4 days. And boy, did I hate myself in that moment. For week eight of student choice, I chose to illustrate the worst night I had that not only had me lucid dreaming within a dream but also feeling powerless that I can’t walk over to get a comforting hug from my Mama after I woke up. She goes to work and has been cautioning us not to go near her in case she contacted the virus without knowing so I can never cling onto her for long without Mama pushing me away.

Interestingly enough, I think this is the most edit I’ve done to bring out significance to my drawing. This is a very light sketch, but I’ll explain my usage of different light adjustments to get it out of the way. Exposure pulled out the thinness of this printer paper I was using to portray my fragile state of being. Contrast darkened my pencil’s lead. Saturation and Warmth were pulled to the coldest, bluest scales to express my lack of warmth. And lastly, Highlight dimmed everything but my light source which coincidentally is accurate in that picture; my window. ZZZ are my parents peacefully snoring away. The scribbles on my bed are my stuffies, Paloma being the closest. I had a dream that I went to places with my best friend only to wake up and find her to tell her I had such a dream only to find a nightmare at the end of it.

Then the day after that whole miserable shenanigan, she came back and we’re good again.

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I STILL CAN’T CUDDLE WITH MAMA THOUGH ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚